My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
