god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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