Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
