It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
