I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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