This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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