About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
