This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
birth control should be required to get into college
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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