Cold hands, warm shart.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
