Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
