ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
