I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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