so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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