You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
