i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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