I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
