i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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