Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
