I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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