I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
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When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
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My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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