How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
