I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
