Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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