I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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