the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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