I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
