fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
