2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
