In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
