dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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