i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
My pussy is not your playground.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
