you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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