the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize