woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
