thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
