'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
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you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
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I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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