I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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