i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
