I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
