Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
