There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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