So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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