I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I understand Curling. That high.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
