I could make wine with my vomit
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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