so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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