how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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