Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
well you can't waste a boner
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
