you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
