I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
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We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
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After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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