even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
