My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize