Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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