She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
