What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
