i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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