Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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