I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
