If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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