More tranny stories later!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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