check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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