Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
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