I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
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I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I deserve this hangover.
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